I Stopped Leaving Things to the Last Minute

Many adults with ADHD learn to rely on stress to finally tackle tasks that we are procrastinating over.

Things are left to the last possible moment, until it’s a crisis, at this point, adrenaline gives us the energy to start.

But what about tasks that aren’t urgent? Is it possible to create a false urgency about dull, routine tasks? It doesn’t sound logical. But it works.

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Hi I’m Rick Green,

I’m always surprised at how many ADD’ers deal with procrastination by leaving a task to the last minute.

The pressure, the stress, and dread, become so intense they actually end up doing the task because it’s the lesser of two evils. Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised but it’s common.

My experience is that that can work, the fear and anxiety can produce enough adrenaline and cortisol to get me to do something, get something done, but if I’m honest the results are, they’re never as good as they could have been, and it’s only after posting a video that I rush through then I can see, oh I could have been funnier, or shorter, or clearer, or more to the point, if only I’d spent another day, if I’d started on, next time I’ll start early.

Especially frustrating if I come up with a brilliant analogy, oh that would have made that so much more memorable, the audience would have loved it, I would have got that standing ovation.

It’s like, it’s like driving home from a party you know, and you go oh oh you know what I should have said back to him, oh, oh man.

Now to be clear I’m talking about things that I leave to the last minute, and it’s because I’m dreading doing it.

I can look at our radio or television script that I’ve done many years ago and sure I can think of the odd tweak or edit but mostly they stand up well, and those scripts went through multiple drafts, it wasn’t like they were last minute, and there was there was pressure, I mean it’s going out to a national audience, it’ll be in reruns for years to come, but the pressure was self-imposed, and it wasn’t like I was dreading doing it.

I wanted to make the other writers laugh, to make people laugh, to make myself laugh, and the stakes were way lower than a comedy skit is different from a video about a mental health issue.

The point is that I find it very hard to be creative because creative means being playful, or really to do any job well, when I’m in a state of low grade panic what’s more leaving it to the last minute every time is so much harder on me, it’s harder on my brain, it’s harder on my body, and I end up instead of exhilarated at creating something that makes me laugh every time I hear it, I’m just I’m glad it’s over, it’s done, it’s not great, I’m drained, I’m disappointed with myself again.

Then I start to doubt, well maybe I’m not that funny, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

If I leave things till the end I just I don’t enjoy the process, and it’s not just the writing process, leaving anything to the last minute, you know, going to a party going to a theater show, going to a movie, going to a doctor’s appointment, going to the airport.

If I cut it close worrying I might get stuck in traffic, so I rush, I rush, and we’re out the door, we’re in the car ,do we remember the tickets, and we got to go back and get the tickets, or did I get the paperwork for the doctor, and we got to go back, and now there’s consternation, worse than that there’s this grim expression, the tightness, and can start to border on frenzy, hurry up, God they’re so slow, and the mood carries over, it carries over, I end up, I don’t enjoy the play, or I’m in a foul mood for most of the party, or I forget the questions I wanted to ask the doctor.

I’m stressed out, my wife is stressed out, two people’s evening ruined.

Finally it came to a head, I’d had enough, we arrived with seconds to spare for a big theater show, our friends were already there and worried something had happened to us, we plopped into our seats and there we are, but I was in such a state, I was snippy with Ava, I was mad at myself.

We paid probably close to $200 to have a miserable evening, and a miserable drive, and that was it, at the end driving home we talked about it and said that’s it, no more, since then we leave early, plenty early, and we arrive early, almost always.

And so we go for a walk, we window shop, we get to our seats early, we read the program, actually have a relaxed conversation with our friends, if it’s a movie, I am finished my popcorn by time the Coming Attractions end, and I focus on the film.

I know it seems obvious, it makes sense, so why do so many ADHD folks, myself included, put ourselves in a state of agitation and stress like that?

One reason is what I talked about in the video on ADHD and time awareness versus time management, we don’t pause to think “do I really have time to frame this poster before we leave for the airport”.

I mean there certainly are good reasons to procrastinate sometimes, I still do it, when I have an idea for a video but the idea is not quite there yet, I mean it’s okay, I kind of know what I want to say but it could be better, I haven’t quite got it right so I let it percolate, and since I’m not writing with three or four other writers who could improve it, and then I can go ah okay and come back to it, I have to let it sit for a while so that I can come back to it and see it with fresh eyes and see uh here’s the problem, or here’s what it could use, or this is the point that I’m actually trying to make.

Relying on stress may work for college assignments but by time you get into your 50s it’s taking a toll, and it’s costing you in terms of trust from other people, and your self-esteem, and it may cause you promotions and all kinds of problems.

So why do we do it? Well I have a theory as to why so many of us rely on stress and urgency to finally get things done, you want to hear it? I’ll assume you said yes.

It’s because it’s what we know, you see it worked for us once, once upon a time, and so we decided it’s the only way we can get things done, because in the past at some point when we were under the gun and in a panic, we’d left something to the last minute, maybe we forgot and now our teacher reminded us at the end of the day, don’t forget tomorrow, and it’s down to the wire, it’s critical, we got to get it done, maybe you have to get help from your parents or friends, but we got it done, or we didn’t but we handed it in late and managed to sweet talk our teacher, or boss, or customer into giving us a break, bending the rules, we charm them with our wit, and sincerity, or we act coy and contrite, my dog died and my grandmother ate my homework, and then she died.

We may even use our ADHD as a kind of get out of jail card, don’t do that.

Every book about attention deficit hyperactivity disorder emphasizes the need to develop habits, automatic habits, healthy habits, helpful habits, ones that are beneficial and sustainable.

Doctors and therapists call these strategies adaptive, versus maladaptive, for example you’re nervous about an upcoming blind date, you could do some deep breathing, talk to friends, write out your concerns, ask How likely is this to happen?

Just prepare a little, be casual, I’m going to keep it casual and I’m going to enjoy myself.

Those were all adaptive strategies, whereas pounding back a few vodka martinis, and then a couple of joints, maladaptive, again it might work, but sustainable?

So leaving something to the last possible minute may work for a while, now and then, but I found that it’s not really healthy, or helpful, or beneficial or sustainable, and so I just no longer do it, I rarely rarely ever do it, honestly.