ADHD and People Pleasing

The Dopamine Trap

Why can we procrastinate to take care of our own needs, tasks, and obligations and yet find the energy and enthusiasm to help others with theirs? Helping others is noble and commendable. But for some folks with ADHD being ‘helpful’ is a way to avoid dealing with their own stuff.

One sure way to feel better about yourself is to help someone else. If you’ve ever volunteered for a charity or comforted a loved one, you know how rewarding it is to serve others. Making a difference for someone else produces serotonin, dopamine, and other feel-good chemicals.

There is a catch, though. Like every addiction, helping everybody else means your stuff never gets done. You never fulfill your obligations or make time to identify and pursue your own goals. Perhaps that’s why many parents feel lost when their kids leave the nest to live independent lives. “What do I do now?”

It’s all about finding balance. And with ADHD, that’s a challenge.

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