This is one of the biggest challenges and frustrations for folks with ADHD. We manage to finish some things, yet other tasks are abandoned. It’s not the size of the job. Simple household chores pile up, unfinished, while I dive into some big project and ‘go great guns,’ as dad used to say.

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It’s not laziness. It’s not that I struggle to do things that are routine, unimportant, or trivial. In fact, it’s the most important tasks that I avoid and they linger on the back-burner, moving from one To-Do List to the next.

I used to think that I was motivated by things that are FUN! Or NEW! And yes, novelty and fun are motivating. But that’s not the main factor.

The key to getting motivated and sticking with something is whether I’m interested. The ADHD brain has been described as “Interest Driven,” and that’s certainly true for me. If I find something interesting, even intriguing, I can jump in and go ‘until the cows come home’. Since we don’t have cows, I keep going. Until I lose interest.

And what about when I truly lose interest in a new hobby? I accept that I’m done, and I let it go, rather than telling myself, “I’ll get to that when I have time next winter.” That ain’t gonna happen.

If it’s something important around the house, I’ll ask a friend for help or hire someone. It’s worth it to have it off my list of ‘To-Do’s’ that I know I will never do.

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Hi, I’m Rick Green. I don’t know if you’ve seen my video, 10 signs you do not have ADHD.

One of the signs was that you finish your projects, that you get them done, dusted, wrapped, and you’re on to the next thing, and you don’t move on till you get it done.

And that’s not what a lot of us who have ADHD do. We have so many things on the go and often a lot of things, sometimes a lifetime of stuff that has been simply abandoned.

There’s a comment from Jeff on that video and he wrote, “If I lose interest, it’s probably as finished as I’m going to get it. It’s so hard to restart things when I’ve lost interest in them.” Yeah, been there, done that multiple times.

Maybe you have, too. Maybe you have a garage full of scuba gear, a surfboard, a mountain bike, a pottery wheel, power tools, a room full of craft supplies, and you haven’t gone in in six years, and you just can’t bear. And it’s not that you just don’t know why.

Let me tell you why. Welcome to the world of neurotransmitters. You see, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is interested. When we’re interested, we are driven. Why? Because something new, novelty, something original, something fresh creates a flow of dopamine and norepinephrine and these neurotransmitters that are important for focus, for getting excited, for doing things. Somebody called dopamine, the do chemical, dopamine.

So, no wonder we’re drawn to novelty. Eventually, our lives look like the avenue of broken dreams or maybe more the avenue of abandoned hobbies and projects, a college degree that you never finish.

Now, there could be other reasons. We have higher rates of dyslexia and dyscalcula, but a lot of people with ADHD start a course interested and then lose interest.

Then there’s the abandoned relationships and friendships or quitting perfectly good jobs, quitting a healthy diet or an exercise plan. One that was working too.

It just becomes routine and it stops producing that original thrill. One solution I found is to hire a coach. Costs a bit of money, but it has always kept me on course.

And right now I haven’t been to a coach in about three or four years and it shows. So the problem is that you never finish what you started.

You have a lot of things on the go. What to do about it? Nothing. You could just kind of accept it. That’s how I operate. That’s that’s what I do. I try things and and then when I get bored or it gets too hard or demands some extra things or costs a lot of money, I you know, I let it go.

Don’t feel bad about it. Don’t make it into a big moral issue, some kind of failing of yours.

Look, just because you never used all those kitchen gadgets that were so interesting or the photography equipment that’s just stuck in the corner, that doesn’t mean you have some moral failing that there’s something wrong with you or that you’re going to be a bad parent.

Well, if I can’t trust myself to then there’s books. Ah, yes. Common with ADHD, I start a book and then I lose interest and I never finish it or I have nine books on the go. I love doing that.

Yeah, sometimes I abandon a book or I skim over stuff and get to what’s interesting. That’s okay. If you get a book on ADHD and you open it up and you read two paragraphs and they really resonate with you and they make a change for you and improve things and offer you some relief, great.

I remember when somebody gave me Project Hail Mary and I thought, “What is this?” And I read it from cover to cover. It was a great read. The movie was good, too, but I think I like the book better.

Sorry, I’m getting into book reviews and movie reviews here. The point is don’t beat yourself up. You could also try finding ways to make it fresh and interesting. Uh if you’re bored, say, with video games, you could try role playing games with other people.

Other people is another great way to get interested and to stick with something when you involve others.

That’s why joining a quilting group or a model railroad club or a gym or a running group, something like that. Tremendous incentive.

I know with ADHD, you don’t want to be told what to do. You’ve been told what to do all your life or told what not to do, but joining an organization, a group, uh people with a similar interest can be really helpful.

There is something about having other people holding you to account, not in a kind of a did you do it, but just kind of how’s it going is so helpful. And that’s why a lot of people are doing what is called body doubling.

Many of my patrons do this. They link up together two or three on a a video call and they may be on different parts of the world.

My patrons are all over the world. You can join them if you like. They’re a wonderful group, clever group, funny group, compassionate group.

But they join up and they say, one says, “I’m going to clean the bedroom.” Another says, “I’m going to finish this application for a tax rebate.” And somebody else says, “I’m going to sort this cupboard out.” And then somebody else says, “Why I’m on this call? this isn’t uh the board meeting and they realize because they have ADHD they’ve messed up the date and the time.

Thanks for listening.

Did I mention about the liking and sharing and commenting and then supporting me by becoming a patron and joining this amazing community?

Uh I don’t know.

I could do it again but I’ve lost interest.

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